fork in the road?

I felt like I was at a fork in the road with my drinking. One path was familiar and destructive, and the other was unknown, scary, but full of hope.

Which way to go??

As I sat there night after night doing the same routine - picking up a bottle of wine on my way home from work, drinking some wine, taking the dog out, watching tv, drinking the rest of the night away - I had a thought: Is this all that there is? Right then I knew that I could continue down the same path, consuming the same 2-3+ bottles of wine every night, rinse and repeat. Or, I could try out a new path.

But, what is that new path? The thought scared me. It's scary to try new things. Humans are creatures of habit and the familiar always seems like a better option to me. What scared me more was thinking of the opportunities and parts of life I am missing by continuing down the same path, the familiar path. I was single and not getting any younger, I felt depleted and tired all of the time. I could barely pull myself to work every morning, let alone trying to get out into the world and do new things. I feel like I could see my life play out if I continued taking the road well traveled, the road where I knew every pothole and rough patch, the road of alcohol.

The thought of quitting drinking brought a lot of apprehension, fear and worry (but that's a story for another post). I saw the fork in the road for myself. I knew that one path would bring destruction and unhappiness, and although I didn't know what the other road brought, I didn't think it could be any worse than the option I knew so well. Now, I'm happy with my decision because for today, I have chosen to take the unknown fork in the road and life has been so much fuller, freer and happier

Solutions

Recognize if you are at a fork in the road with your drinking. Indicators can involve any of the following, but also can include many more. You can find more signs here.

• Isolation. You've noticed that you are doing less social activities. Or, get invited to less events (for example, there were times I would hear about a gathering of my friends and find out I wasn't invited because people didn't want to deal with my drinking drama)

• Spend a lot of your time drinking, or planning/thinking of drinking

• Increased feelings of anxiety or depression

• Friction in relationships

• Negative affects on your home and/or work life

Only you can decide what your relationship with alcohol is. No one can make that judgment for you. It's important to be honest with yourself. The closest relationship I have in life is to myself, so why would you want to lie to me? I had to really take an honest look at how much alcohol controlled my life, and I had to ask myself, "Is the juice really worth the squeeze?" Basically, does the "reward" of drinking outweigh the punishment (continuing down the path of addiction, loneliness, and despair)?