am i boring now that i don't drink?

Becoming boring was one of my biggest fears when I made the decision to stop drinking completely. Being bored because I didn't drink, was also thought about to ad infinitum.

For the first half of my drinking career, I was the "fun girl," and I always saw that alcohol added to that fun. I could drink like "one of the guys" (until I couldn't), and often set the pace for how much everyone was drinking around me. I was proud of that and thought the presence of alcohol in general, made me more fun. My brain was being conditioned for all of those years that alcohol = fun. Alcohol always accompanied the times when I had fun. In essence, I had associated fun with drinking, and pretty much only drinking.

Alcohol seemed to spice up every event - concerts, vacations, weekend trips, seeing movies in the theaters, brunches, really any event seemed more fun when I was drinking (heck, I'd even drink before going hiking). When I was drinking, I couldn't even go to a pre-game without pregaming, at first for the "fun," but then because I didn't think I could have any social interactions without a drink first. But now that I don't drink, are those events any less fun? Does it make me boring as a person without the alcohol?

My first answer is, of course not! I was never an un-fun person, I was just living with a crutch for what I considered fun. The definition of fun changes when you are a non-drinker. Things I considered fun in the past (ie. going to Vegas), are no longer fun for me anymore. And that is okay! Humans that are not constantly changing are stagnant, and you definitely want to be moving in the direction of growth.

What I mostly go back to now is that me without the alcohol isn't fun or not fun, it's just different. My life looks different now. That doesn't mean I am boring, it just means it's different. I can, will, and currently do the same activities I've always done, sans alcohol. And I wouldn't be doing them if it wasn't fun still, right?

When it comes to boredom, well I tend to fall along the thinking that there is no such thing as boredom, only boring people. I have actually found that since I have stopped drinking, even more activities and experiences have opened up to me. I've been busier than ever because I finally have the energy to do things! I try to stay out of boredom as much as possible, because it's one of those tricky things that can lead me to relapse. The more the world has opened up to me, the more I can't wait to see and learn.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Zelda Fitzgerald in The Collected Writings, "She refused to be bored chiefly because she wasn’t boring."

Solutions

Be at peace knowing I have peace. No carnage or bullshit to attend to or worry about like I used to have to when I was drinking.

Because I had so much drama before, life without drinking is different to get used to. To me, boredom will always be better than having to deal with all the shit I created while drinking.